The Foot Fist Way (2006)

“The story of a man who teaches people how to kick other people in the face.” In this hilariously crude low-budget comedy, Danny McBride portrays “Fred Simmons,” the most obnoxious, misguided and delusional taekwondo instructor on the planet. Fred, who runs a taekwondo school out of a strip mall in a small North Carolina town, starts to go off the deep end when he discovers that his sluttish wife Suzy (Mary Jane Bostic) has cheated on him by giving her boss a handjob during an office party that got out of hand (no pun intended!). I like Suzy’s excuse: “I was so drunk—like, Myrtle Beach drunk.” In order to maintain some sort of dignity, Fred (the self-proclaimed “King of the Demo”) embarks on a quest to meet his idol, superstar martial arts celebrity “Chuck ‘The Truck’ Wallace” (Ben Best), who turns out to be a totally burnt out cokehead and self-absorbed asshole (he agrees to make an appearance at Fred’s taekwondo promotion ceremony for a fee of $10,000). Highlights include the wild party in The Truck’s hotel room, Fred leaving The Truck home with Suzy and then returning later to catch them casually having sex on the couch, the final showdown between Fred and The Truck, and Fred’s expletive-filled rant against Suzy (“I hope your hair turns into dog shit one day…”). Most of the kids in the movie were reportedly actual students at a taekwondo academy in Concord, North Carolina. Directed by Jody Hill (who also portrays Fred’s psychotic martial arts buddy “Mike McAllister”), this extremely dark comedy premiered at the 2006 Los Angeles Film Festival. By the way, the film’s title is derived from the literal English translation of the word “taekwondo”— tae meaning “foot,” kwon meaning “fist” and do meaning “way.” In 2008, McBride appeared in character as “Fred Simmons” on an episode of Late Night with Conan O’Brien and gave a disastrous martial arts demonstration. Useless Trivia: Believe it or not—in an alternative ending on the DVD—instead of Fred ranting at Suzy and pissing on her wedding ring, he actually breaks her neck and walks away.

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