Heaven Help Us (1985)

“If I don’t make you my friend it means I gotta kick your ass everytime I see you. Nobody wants that, do they?” In this offbeat, frequently hilarious comedy-drama directed by Michael Dinner, an aimless bunch of awkward, horny teens tries to survive life at St. Basil’s Boys’ Prep School, a strict all-boys Catholic high school in Brooklyn, New York, in 1965. Andrew McCarthy portrays new student “Michael Dunn” who fall for “Danni” (Mary Stuart Masterson), the troubled daughter of the owner of a soda fountain/student hangout across from the school. The strong supporting cast includes Kevin Dillon (who pretty much steals the show as obnoxious student “Ed Rooney”), Malcolm Danare (as the nerdy “Caesar”), Patrick Dempsey (in his film debut as “Corbett”), Stephen Geoffreys (as resident goofball “Williams”), Donald Sutherland (as headmaster “Brother Thadeus”), John Heard (as the laid-back “Brother Timothy”), Wallace Shawn (as “Father Abruzzi,” who delivers a classic speech about the evils of lust before the school dance) and Jay Patterson (as the sadistic “Brother Constance”).

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