Top 10 George Carlin Quotes

"I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis."


"Religion easily has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man . . . living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of 10 specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money."


"When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat."


"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions."


“What's all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably need more than motivation. You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery. Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me.”


"Consumption. This is the new national pastime. Fuck baseball, it's consumption, the only true, lasting American value that's left . . . buying things . . . People spending money they don't have on things they don't need . . . So they can max out their credit cards and spend the rest of their lives paying 18 percent interest on something that cost $12.50. And they didn't like it when they got it home anyway. Not too bright, folks, not too fuckin' bright."


"We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna save the fuckin' planet? . . . And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin' great. It's been here over four billion years . . . The planet isn't goin' anywhere, folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake."

#03 - STUFF

"Actually this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That's all, a little place for my stuff. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there. That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get . . . more stuff! Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore."


"Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice . . . you don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own, and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying . . . lobbying, to get what they want . . . Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I’ll tell you what they don’t want . . . they don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that . . . that doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests. That’s right. They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin' years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want? They want obedient workers . . . Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your fuckin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They’ll get it . . . they’ll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin' place. It’s a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in The big club. By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table has tilted folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good honest hard-working people . . . white collar, blue collar it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on. Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means . . . continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t give a fuck about you . . . they don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t care about you at all . . . at all . . . at all, and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. It’s called the American Dream cause you have to be asleep to believe it . . .”


"There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can't say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 . . . to seven. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. 'All of you words over here, you seven . . . baaaad words.' That's what they told us, right? 'That's a bad word!' Awwww. No bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords. You know the seven, don't ya? That you can't say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. Huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the words that'll infect your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war. Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits, wow! And tits doesn't even belong on the list! It seems like such a friendly word. Sounds like a nickname. 'Hey Tits, come here man! Tits! Meet my friend Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots.' Sounds like a snack . . . oh yeah, it is. Right. But I don't mean your sexist snack, I mean new Nabisco Tits. Corn Tits n' Sesame Tits n' Cheese Tits . . . Tater Tits. Bet you can't eat just one!"

User Comments - Add a Comment
KesheR - 2008-06-24 07:43:21
I don't know who this guy is (I'm Spanish), but I enjoyed the quotes a lot.
ben - 2008-06-24 13:17:43
what a complete pissy fucking shit that he has gone and motherfucking cocksucking died, its got on my cunting tits. rip george you were a genius
mike - 2008-06-24 15:46:08
kesher this man is the god of comedy bow before him.
Dom - 2008-06-24 16:07:35
#2 - If only every American could hear and absorb that quote - and learn from it - America would be a much better place.
nature223 - 2008-06-24 16:40:09
he did get very dark and almost brooding towards the end and less funny
Cnyvek - 2008-06-24 17:54:17
Brilliant man... his death was like a kick in my chest... You will be greatly missed George...
Julie - 2008-06-24 19:17:41
RIP George. You will be sorely missed. I hope that where ever you end up you'll have some of your "stuff" with you!
Roach - 2008-06-24 20:16:21
Saint George knew us all. We are complacent slobs. We are a failed mutation. We are the dinosaurs. He knew it and he tried to tell us. Your life should not be taken seriously because it is not your life, it is their life. They own us. The CFR, the NWO, the Biderbergers, the Rockefellers, and the Rothschilds. We are the fuel for their tyranny.
Arnold Ziffel - 2008-06-24 20:57:38
He turned into a whiny pussy towards the end of his career - his early stuff was good but the last 3rd was limp-wristed liberal spewing hatred of the country that allowed him to make his MILLIONS and then not even appreciate it.
Will Bunch - 2008-06-25 00:08:18
Arnold, I mean no disrespect to your opinion or your ideology, but I'm going to be very frank. If you're trying to compare some of the comedy that Carlin had given the world to anything political, then I'm afraid you missed the point of his comedy altogether. George Carlin: The Disappointed Idealist (1937-2008)
Joe Moschero - 2008-06-25 03:00:07
Happy trails to you George, you put into words what a lot of us know but cant verbalize. You'll always be remembered.
Kiril - 2008-06-25 07:51:49
In my eyes, he wasn't actually a comedian... he was one of the last open-eyed Americans. So, that's a -1 for you and may the invisible man help you.
Deb Wong - 2008-06-25 11:40:25
I've been enjoying George Carlin's act since the mid-60s, when his hair was short and he wore suits. His act evolved over time, but not his wonderfully irreverent attitude. No comic could make me laugh so hard, and be so depressed at the same time. The Lenny Bruce of his time (Bruce was his idol).
KesheR - 2008-06-25 15:06:44
Now I know who this guy was. I'm going to use a lot of Youtube these days at work, I think.
Bob Dobbs - 2008-06-25 21:16:46
George Carlin was a sub genius. No, he was a partial genius.
IamWiccan - 2008-06-26 13:11:22
The man was a comical genius. Why do we have to lose people like George Carlin? We need more epople like him in this world! Take the Paris Hiltons, Celine Dions and Brittany Spears off of this marble and give us George back!
Sherri - 2008-06-27 16:01:18
I can't believe he is gone. Carlin was my hero. RIP
The Great - 2008-06-27 16:36:32
He was a great comedian but I've never heard George Carlin tell a joke. He told the truth and made people laugh. Rest In Peace
Anonymous - 2008-06-27 22:19:27
my nickname has been tits for 8 years
Gigl - 2008-06-29 20:00:41
He's a great comedian check out his works...too bad he dies...2008 is killing lots of great people...hoffman, carlin, who's next?
KesheR - 2008-06-30 09:50:34
Quote #2 is the best description of our societies that I've ever read. As a matter of fact, it could work as an hymn for revolution.
joe - 2008-06-30 22:26:48
R.I.P George recently passed away my friends =[
cKHAVIKk - 2008-07-01 01:24:44
it's very odd to me that there are people out there in civilized nations who don't know the expressive genius that was Carlin....
DeliGuy - 2008-07-01 04:08:11
Wow......What insight!
KesheR - 2008-07-01 16:09:14
"it's very odd to me that there are people out there in civilized nations who don't know the expressive genius that was Carlin....". Spain is not a civilized nation, it's a bunch of stupid people trying hard not to be swallowed by society. Just like everyone else.
Guy - 2008-07-01 18:00:20
This guy is a damn communist!! The _dream_ is real - to any one who has the grit to reach out for it. Of course if you prefer a safe job where you dont have to think more than once a year, you cant reasonably expect it to be more than a dream.
ronrutt - 2008-07-01 18:16:24
I had the pleasure of seeing this man four times. Three times were in Pgh., Pa. Each time I laughed more after the shows when I thought about his ideas. He truly was a genius with his ideas! He will be missed by everyone who ever went to see his shows. People, who never got a chance to see him, should by his records and listen closely to this man.
Alicia V - 2008-07-02 16:34:32
When I was told last week that George Carlin died, I didn't believe it; apparently, neither did google, cause when I searched his name, there were no news stories about it, and I had to look it up about 4-5 times before I found any stories about it. I really regret not being able to go to any of his shows. He was a brilliant comedian and a great man and mind. I've grown up with George Carlin; from Shining Time Station to his comedy on stage, he has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. He will be sorely missed, and I hope he finds solace wherever he goes. R.I.P., George!
frank - 2008-07-03 00:04:09
you know, the best thing about george passing, he timed it just right, he made sure that we'd all pay attention for just a week before the candles were lit and we pretended we live in a land of the free and the brave. george was out there man, he was our hero, and he knows we don't think he's looking down on us or cares a damn about how we're doing now, but ya know what, that's what george would have wanted, he'd want us to cry and think about the shit we swallow everyday. And he'd want us to find a way, find a way man, find a way to burn this thing down and start all over.
Tiffeny - 2008-07-03 13:25:06
I have had the pleasure of meeting the legend and I will tell you all from personal experience that it was not just on stage that he made the world a better place. He was a great man and he made us all think with words that were artfully chosen. His passing was another one of his steps in life (which he has stated himself) and he has left us thinking. My heart will miss the man but my head says "Be at peace with the Sun God George. I hope to see you there." R.I.P.
Widoe - 2008-07-03 18:00:45
We know who George Lopez is, But you dont know George Carlin? really????
Pjay - 2008-07-04 00:22:01
I've just found George Carlin's work and now he goes and pops it. Bill Hicks did that to me too. Real shame there gone, but just look at all the stuff they left behind for us to chew on. Brill Comedy and food for thought. Peace be with you George.
Tek - 2008-07-04 21:36:22
To the spanish guy --- you need punched.
Isabeau - 2008-07-06 13:36:17
He was funny once, honest.
G.L. Tirebiter - 2008-07-06 16:04:01
"If you push something hard enough it will fall over." Fudd's 1st Law of Opposition
KesheR - 2008-07-07 09:51:17
@Tek: I agree.
KesheR - 2008-07-21 08:24:50
Now I've watched hours and hours of material from this man. I absolutely love him. I specially like the moments when he gets really dark, like in this quote: "...Nobody trusts the local water supply, nobody, and that amuses me. I like that, I admit I'm a bit perverted, but it amuses me that no one can really trust the water anymore. And the thing I like about it the most is, it means the system is beginning to collapse, and everything is slowly breaking down. I enjoy chaos and disorder, not just because they help me professionally, they're also my hobby, you see, I'm an entropy fan. I'm an entropy fan, when I first heard of entropy in high school science I was attracted to it immediately. When they told me that in nature all systems are breaking down, I thought what a good thing, what a good thing, perhaps I can make some small contribution in this area myself. And of course it's not just in nature, in this country, the whole social structure just beginning to collapse, you watch, just beginning now to come apart at the edges and the seams. And the thing I like about that, is that it means it makes the news on television more interesting,... The planet will be here for a long, long, long time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, cause that's what it does. It's a self correcting system..."
willheln - 2008-07-23 21:37:09
well, at least he didn't go peacefully. he would have hated that.
Bob - 2008-07-25 16:28:01
A lot of George's stuff was funny and some it was pure wisdom.....but his views of God and Jesus are costing him an eternity in a literal hell. He is not "Resting In Peace" I truly believe that. If you don't....... so be it. Whatever you and Carlin believed is your own business. You'd better hope you're right.
KesheR - 2008-07-26 10:17:31
@Bob: we are right.
KesheR - 2008-07-27 19:41:26
One person died and six were wounded because of a shooting in A CHURCH at Knoxville, Tenneessee. Carlin said once he was looking forward to this kind of news. Enjoy, Carlin!
SlagMaster - 2008-07-27 23:44:55
Anyone who becomes so puffed up with pride , that they believe they are so intelligent, that god has no place with them, has problems. Only the ones that are taught of worldly things, are those that believe that are all knowing. Forget it.. we are all stupid.
Travis in the Trunk - 2008-07-31 21:48:58
All of you are saying R.I.P. George, Rest In Peace, man. You don't realize that George isn't in heaven. He didn't Believe in God (and I don't, either). He is not resting, or at peace. He just isn't. He is gone. His conscience has switched to off. We will all miss him, there's no denying that, but I don't think he would like all that religious mumbo jumbo used in his name.
rolie perez - 2008-07-31 23:51:36
"He was an artist like Bob Dylan, Prince, Salvador Dali, and Jean-Michel Basquiat are artists. He didn't sit on his laurels; he was like, 'I got work to do.' And what an incredible body of work, man." - Chris Rock on George Carlin
S - 2008-08-01 04:07:25
Fuck the comedy. Carlin was one of the 20th century's preeminent philosophers.
ceecee - 2008-08-03 04:49:06
"thegreat" and "s"... amen rip George. you are sorely missed
Jordan - 2008-08-08 20:49:45
My favorite Carlin quote: "Why is it that the people who are against abortion, are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
Dale701 - 2008-08-26 06:46:55

To: Travis in the Trunk - 2008-07-31 17:48:58 I agree, have respect for the man. Don't these people think its enough that George would spend an eternity being tortured in hell and they have to come around and spread things George did not believe in, among us fans of Saint George. I know he made my life much more enjoyable! My dream was to have George Carlin and Bill Mahre over to my house with some friends and get loaded. Now it can never be.

real-islander - 2008-09-07 03:35:53

George was the real prince of Reality TV how he described, was the way is kinda is!!!!!!!!!!!

Hank - 2008-09-18 16:43:59

So, Carlin was a communist? Excellent!

The Good Things - 2008-09-25 10:50:30

Class quotes!! I loved this guy has inspired and liberated me from the wretch that is the human race...And In that realisation Ive also laughed my ass off!! Russell Brand is gonna be the new GC.. Watch this space!

Francis Bacon - 2008-10-06 13:47:20

I found out who he was a few years back, and promptly download everything I can about him. Great stuffs from a great man. I was truly sadden when he died. But instead of admiring his life or being sad over his dead, I think he would want us to keep an eye out for the next George Carlin (be it one of us even)....and continue with his work. Fight on the good fight....with laughter.

KesheR - 2008-10-27 17:11:50

"So, Carlin was a communist?". I think he was an anarchist, I don't know if anarchosocialist or anarchoindividualist or anarchoprimitivist. I think the first one.

Mouse - 2008-10-29 01:15:54

He's not just a comedian. He's a philosopher, a visionary, a thinker. He's a motherfucking genius.

KesheR - 2008-10-30 08:36:49

I agree with Mouse. He is sort of jester telling people bad and true things they don't want to hear.

Vale - 2008-11-02 07:45:51

I had the amazing luck to witness George Carlin at a young age. My parents always liked him and so I got to stay up late and watch his HBO specials many years back. Growing up in that environment has turned me into the delightful Cynic I have become. Carlin will be missed.

dirtydavid951 - 2008-11-12 08:02:56

George Carlin was one of my favorite people to watch

jordan - 2008-11-20 18:18:20

he's dead people hes fucking dead he wants it that way oh btw he's probly in hell right now going, "Well, there is a fucking hell. All well, i still don't belive in any of theis fucking shit anyway."

Aaron Merritt - 2008-11-30 13:37:26

R.I.P.George you were and always will be the greatest. I hope you are still giving someone hell somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shmizz - 2008-12-01 07:46:17

He wasn't really into labels either XD "For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label." You know, he might not appreciate this, but I hope he's in heaven. I guess that's all I can do. He was really funny though ^_^. I'm currently more interested in his old stuff *and I picked him for my homework project for an influential American in the 20th-21st century. He better get me an 'A'*

Anonymous - 2008-12-01 11:45:10

"I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too" --> That's a fucking damned LIE. Atheism is NOT a belief, it's the absence of beliefs. Those who think that there is an invisible man living in the sky are believing something. Atheists don't believe anything of that shit. By the way and either way, atheists don't believe there is no God, they are POSITIVE about that. We are.

Ishmail - 2008-12-07 14:41:53

I bet he's down there screaming up at us. And I think he's in severe pain.

Daryl - 2009-01-03 12:19:27

Actually, atheism IS a belief system. All it preaches is that all the religions are totally wrong, that there is no God, and there is nothing after death. The adherents to this tend to believe and expose it... well... RELIGIOUSLY! They are just as bad as any religious group out there. George was the last and best of the Truth Tellers. I have been a fan since an early age and I am saddened that I will never be able to meet the Man, shake his hand, and tell him how hearing him tell the unvarnished truth has opened my eyes to the shit that our world has become. Wait for us with the sun, George,, and Joe Peshi watch over you.

Bob - 2009-02-03 19:18:11

Atheism is not a religion at all. Carlin called religion what it is : BS. No one is going to "see george in the sun". The dead don't see and there is NO afterlife. I'm glad I was in Carlin's world, in Carlin's time. The only time I'll ever have. All the more precious because it is short and finite.

Mikel - 2009-03-15 16:20:07

"Arnold Ziffel - 2008-06-24 16:57:38 He turned into a whiny pussy towards the end of his career - his early stuff was good but the last 3rd was limp-wristed liberal spewing hatred of the country that allowed him to make his MILLIONS and then not even appreciate it." Arnold Arnold Arnold... The words Carlin and Liberal shan't fall in the same sentence. He was an equal opportunity bigot... he hated everyone equally... If you class him as such, you were either (1) too young to "Get it," (2) too stupid to "get it," or (3) Not paying attention.

Marcus - 2009-04-02 03:28:42

Daryl, Atheism is not a religion of belief system. It's a philosophical viewpoint that has an understanding that deities do not exist. In other words, it is the opposite of theism, which is the belief in deities or Gods. Atheism is simply the absence of belief in a deity or god. That said, Carlin was a genius. His dominion over the English language and knowledge of the world and it's workings was something that you would not expect a comedian to have, and yet he was incredible at both. And made you laugh and you learned the lessons.

shazamm!! - 2009-05-12 21:42:17

ok, for all u people saying that he's burning in hell right now...ur stupid, im an atheist and i know that a large portion of people interpret the bible wrong and that there isn't a hell nor satan, satan was the representation of evil, not an actual deity, and hell doesn't exist because god is all good and loves everybody, do you really think somebody who loves you would let u burn for an eternity? no, of course not. it's kinda funny that christians or catholics or w/e dont know shit about their own religion, it proves how ignorant people are and what they'll believe when they dont understand something, and if ur going to be religious, at least know what ur religion is carlin was and still is awesome...woo!

Kevin - 2009-07-06 17:52:13

This comment goes out to that guy named Kesher who made the comment that he's "Spanish". Look Kesher, Spanish is the language, Mexican is the race. I wasn't going to post but yea, that really caught my attention. George Carlin your my hero. Bake some pies for me in hell without an oven.

splittingthehair - 2009-09-08 14:53:38

But Kevin, Kesher is from Spain......

Kala - 2009-10-14 22:31:07

You're spanish if you're from Spain... Mexican if your from Mexico... dont assume someone is Mexican when they say they are Spanish.. it just makes you look like an idiot

Matt Alabama - 2009-12-04 23:04:06

How bout, "There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."

Robert Anton Wilson - 2010-01-27 19:31:59

He was the greatest philosopher to come out of America. Ever.

Loves - 2010-02-11 19:37:32

George Carlin was AMAZING, BRILLIANT, SMART, FUNNY.. The best this world has seen.

Nora Whipple - 2010-02-17 21:04:16

I think George Carlin said it best in his last televised event concerning basic barbaric human inter-relations, and I am paraphrasing him: "I have the right to tell you things that piss you off, and you have the right to shoot me."

Kelly - 2010-03-12 19:06:55

RIP George! You will ALWAYS be remembered, at least by me.

DafFaf - 2010-05-19 17:40:49

He was my hero, I really looked up to this man of great geniusness. (if thats even a word). R.I.P George Carlin, you shall be missed by many.

Chris - 2010-05-31 13:18:19

The 20th century's greatest thinker. I hope he is in hell telling the devil he doesn't exist - i think he'd like that. he's looking up at us, and screaming.

Dorky Pork - 2010-06-07 19:14:43

Rest in piece motherfucker

John O - 2010-07-15 18:57:38

Right now he's in the Atheist form of Heaven telling God to fuck off, and talking shit to Satan. R.I.P. George. You will be missed.

Dark Beatz - 2010-08-25 22:04:06

I really think his best quote is: "I got fired from a gig in vegas for saying "SHIT" where the big game is called CRAPS. I could just here it now some big shot saying AWW SHIT I CRAPPED. They fly those guys in for free.... But they fired me......shiiiit....."

Sabat - 2010-10-19 00:59:13

hey Kesher, you know who he is now!

Admirer - 2010-10-21 20:47:10

rest in peace george you were a genious! and I know you will rest in peace cause you are dead! Loving your memory cause you opened my eyes finally to all the bullshit in the world. I am loving the show!

dhv7 - 2010-11-09 21:56:58

Funny? Yes. Brilliant? Certainly. Genius? Sure, why not? Yet while he seemed to start out from a deep sense of justice and decency, how sad that his jaundiced view on the world left him such a bitter, cynical, angry and empty old man, ringing his mighty call to nihilism and, ultimately, defeat. Leaves me sick at heart.

Just me. - 2010-12-10 02:42:12

George Carlin is amazing.....I said "is amazing" becouse people like him never die.....He is alive...he is alive and telling us every where the true about very important things....people say that he is a comedian......I say he is a huge human being. I got you George!.....See you when I see you.

Akin Karabulut - 2010-12-20 18:40:52

The one and only true speaking person on the planet does not live anymore. Thank you for all the "eye opening". It helped me. All the other sheep can listen to politicians, go to the church or watch the media. Not for me. I am just living no mo' no less. Just eating, drinking and fucking until I die.

will bunch i agree - 2011-01-12 15:58:56

i completely agree with what you wrote to that guy who didn't get it. i am glad that you do, and some others. Carlin tried to enlighten us to our situation- he was a funny man, but he was also one of the best teachers of all time. Trying to teach what was going on & how to not take things so personally that you just keep reacting through dealing with others in society.

Kelsey - 2011-05-14 17:33:56
America's last great philosopher, if you ask me.. he was an incredible person with a unique view on life.
EOM-Evil-Twin - 2011-11-16 14:41:34
In less than 100 years, he will be Saint George, the Prophet of Doom. Not because he wanted to but because he was right!
Dave - 2011-11-16 16:25:57
George was a comic genius, yet he knew the reality of our economic and political climate. He pulled no punches and told it like it is in a way that works on the subconcious. You are sorely missed George.
NLK - 2011-11-16 16:26:34
I miss you sooooo much George.
akupnt - 2011-11-16 19:08:35
When you can make people smile from the grave you won. Thanks George Carlin ... for your humor and courage to take assholes like Arnold Ziffel below and shove their nose in it.
Ileene - 2011-11-17 14:19:25
He was a genius..simply a genius and my favorite of all time
Rocket79 - 2011-11-17 16:46:05
If you didn't see him in concert, you certainly missed the opportunity of a lifetime! He was brilliantly funny.
NIQ - 2011-12-13 20:32:42
George Carlin was an untouchable. STILL is. If you hear his bit on high technology(among many), you may realize how complex and fast his mind was(is)... Incredible that he could chain that much material in one show, leaving everyone at the start line... no contest. Brilliance is the rarest gem. He had to distance himself or go mad... He had to give up, the human crowd is too lame to be improved to his level... it is just not possible...
charlie - 2011-12-16 05:11:20
Kudos to George about religion. Why does the invisible man need money?
jean-marc A - 2012-01-14 04:37:34

we need more like him with power for the serfs of the world not only us americans; he spoke for all humanity go G.C. go!

BROOKE JOHNSTON - 2012-02-03 05:31:46
Frank B. - 2012-04-07 19:53:47
German here. Thank you so much for this compilation. I enjoyed it very much it is really sad he is gone.
Matlock - 2012-06-09 02:18:35

I remember sneeking my parents Carlin albums and listening to them. The man was a wealth of common sense, and funny... I will miss him.

TonyC - 2012-06-24 15:37:05

yo, keep it circulating. Carlin was not only a comedian, he was a man that makes you use your brain, Carlin was a man that spoke the truth in his own New York way

Clancy - 2012-11-21 05:00:50

Cleaning up my bookmarks, this has been in my bookmarks for YEARS glad its still here. RIP George. One of the wisest and most eloquent comedians in history.

Michael Woods - 2013-02-05 07:33:04

He was truly that rare intellect deserving of the term "Genius" an altogether overly used and usually not deserved characterization. Moreover, he seemed to grow in intellect at the end, or perhaps was more expressive of his high mindedness and thus came off as heading in a darker direction. Nevertheless, he is heads and shoulders in my mind the greatest comic, social commentator and natural philosopher I have ever heard live in my lifetime.

Vandayo - 2013-02-15 22:34:44

You know what folks? if George could see these posts, he'd say "Who the fuck are you typing these words for, cause it sure as hell ain't me. Hell I'm dead and pushin' up daisies, and by the way...back your bags."

thewordofthewise - 2013-03-29 18:18:45

all of you generation Y chromosoidal mongloids with naught for common and less than superior intelligence listen up! George Carlin was a legacy beyond what any of you self-satisfied, selfish, arrogant, ignorant pricks will ever accomplish in your lifetime

ghill3 - 2013-05-29 02:11:08

can u say pussy on tv?

Carlin 101 - 2013-08-03 09:09:37

What all of you seem to be missing is the message he was trying to send he was trying to open your eyes, yes. But more importantly he is telling us to get up off our lazy asses and do something about the injustice we live in. The upsetting politician drive with lazy ass motherfuckin attitudes governments that you all keep electing are doing a god damned thing and what need to happen is not just sitting around moping for this man's death, but preserve the legacy he was trying to leave behind. He was not a comic genius, he was not just an eye opening motherfucker... No he was so much more than that. He was a preacher for the cause of better day of respect and thought. He was George Denis Patrick Carlin, the greatest mentor for the cause this world had ever known.

harsh - 2013-08-16 10:36:56

He is not just a comedian , he is a revolutionist, he is the greatest man with punk rock attitude. His words can change anyone's "thinking".

Bob Aronson - 2013-12-11 04:26:23

"The Prophet Carlen" was how he was cited in the writings of Robert Anton Wilson. Prophetic indeed. Or perhaps, simply a clear vision of life in reality with people. His intelligence, ethics, and humor could reconcile the ugliness and evil of humanity with absurdity, irony, and outrage. Where is the outrage now, America?

syed - 2014-01-11 19:08:03

salute to george the Genuis...i dont even remember what i ate for the breakfast..he remembered everything word by word...

mahdi from iran - 2014-08-06 20:27:28

sir george carlin was a predictor,was someone like oracle, he was not belong to his time.he just said the real happens of the societies.I always listen to his words,one can predict the future if he or she exactly listens to his words and compare them with the real life.

Jason - 2014-10-05 02:26:51

I saw him abt six mos before he died. Old energy not there and dark. Very anti religion. Did have one great new line he was trying out though, very Carlin: there's no such thing as twelve convenient locations--there's one convenient location and eleven inconvenient locations. Loved it

Jesse T. - 2014-10-25 20:37:09

I'd trade every last drop of blood in the entire Kardashian family for 5 minutes with George. He wasn't a humanitarian, but the human race could sure learn a lot from him. RIP George.

Greg from Wisconsin - 2014-12-28 05:48:44

George Carlin was one of the nicest people you could ever meet. Well, as long as you aren't a moron - he had no patience for that. He was a lover, not a fighter. He was such a humanitarian he strove to bring others to his way of thinking, which was moral. He had a great opportunity to change people, and I'm sure he did change many for the better. In the end he was a comedian. I would never say "just" a comedian. Great comedians are vital to any civil society. I won't say "God Bless you, George" because I know he wouldn't appreciate it. But I will say that I hope to see him again someday.... because you never really know, do you?

Chris - 2015-02-12 23:26:27

I love this!!!

Tshewangtenzin - 2015-03-13 23:28:28

These guys are telling truth.speak the truth a loud so that everybody can hear u.

Mike S. - 2015-03-14 18:29:09

Watched him since his first special in the 70s..actually had a vinyl record of one of his shows!

Padro - 2015-03-23 16:24:20

He is one of the wisest man that ever lived who can see what is the truth that we all know is true ...But a genius i'm not sure if any other man can replace him...If we had him running the united states we would have had real freedom in a country ..a country that needs to take off the dark glasses ..Stop blocking media truth and say it like it is..

Eli - 2015-04-03 03:22:20

George Carlin is the man and what he say is so true it's funny because most people do see it.

Algernon Periwinckle. - 2015-04-22 23:31:13

This is all very good stuff...although I didn't read it all.

That Guy - 2015-06-04 23:47:52

I watched about 18 minutes of this guy, and already he was my idol.

[Editor's Note: Yes, Carlin is a fuckin' legend!]

BrotherPatriot - 2015-08-08 16:37:18

I only have the utmost respect for Mr. Carlin. He will be sorely missed...and perhaps he had been hastened along or not (with that gun that shoots the poison as a dart and only leaves a small red dot entry wound as it dissolves within the human body), it does not change the message that George left to posterity and us. He spoke words that are the light in the darkness as we stumble forward as a species. George Carlin spoke a lot of Truth. We as a people must Awaken to the threat that the New World Order presents to us all. We can still do something about it...but not if we remain silent. Ol' George wasn't silent and yes, I thank God for that. George wasn't right about everything...specifically regarding the existence of God and his view point on guns...however, he was mostly right and did indeed have a lot figured out. It's a burden knowing what he and rest of us who study History know...and it wears upon you...but as a citizen of the world it is our Duty to stand up and reveal the threat of the New World Order once you fully become aware of it's existence. (This according to the definition of what a citizen is in Emmerich de Vattels book, "The Law of Nations.") Resisting Evil is what Good Children of God do. Even if George thought he was an atheist...his Good heart still brought Him to God, is what I believe. For God knows that this world is a tampered mess and we all have been lied to for 1000's of years regarding religions because they've been altered & edited with in order to shape & control the masses. God knows this and judges us upon if we are Good or Evil as individuals, based on our actions and the energy that we emit within His universe. I stand for Family, God & Country even though I have shed all religious dogma. All of my research, down through History has shown me that this existence is all about where we as individuals, and as a species, stand in regards to the Eternal Struggle between Good & Evil. I know on what side I stand. I love my Father in Heaven. Hooyah & God Bless.

Alfonso Criscuoli - 2015-12-08 18:26:25

The man is simply a genius.

Con - 2016-01-26 02:29:10

Rip George wonder whether your still getting "bumfucked" and helping people "service their accounts" "up there" lol or "down there" pmsl wherever the fuck you are. P.s thanks America for taking off when us Brits ground to a holt.

John Camron - 2016-06-28 15:07:42

Carlin easily the best that ever was or ever will be.

Entropyfan - 2016-08-05 02:08:50

we miss you uncle george see ya at the heat death of the universe with all the uncle daves.