Top 10 Worst Christmas Movies of the Last 40 Years
#10 - AN AMERICAN CHRISTMAS CAROL [1979]
AN AMERICAN CHRISTMAS CAROL [1979] Image

Henry Winkler stars as "Benedict Slade," a stingy landlord during the Great Depression in New England, in this stomach-churning variation on the Dickens classic. Winkler's ridiculous makeup and wild hair make him look like the old fart that Tim Conway played to perfection on "The Carol Burnett Show." Strictly for insomniacs!

#09 - BABES IN TOYLAND [1986]
BABES IN TOYLAND [1986] Image

Some genius had the bright idea to remake the 1934 Laurel & Hardy classic (also known as March of the Wooden Soldiers) using Pat Morita ("Mr. Miyagi"), Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves as "Jack-Be-Nimble." No, I'm not kidding! Simply awful.

#08 - HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK [1992]
HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK [1992] Image

Another lowlight in the history of sequels, Home Alone 2 lets Macaulay Culkin loose in New York City where he once again meets up with the two bumbling criminals (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern), who just happen to be wandering around the Big Apple too! What a fuckin' coincidence! Culkin is saved by a homeless "pigeon lady" in Central Park straight out of Mary Poppins. Notice all of the shameless plugs for the Plaza Hotel. Even "The Donald" has a bit role as himself—another great reason not to watch the damn thing.

#07 - A CHRISTMAS CAROL [1999]
A CHRISTMAS CAROL [1999] Image

Year after year, TNT force-feeds this boring, by-the-numbers version of Scrooge to the populace by showing it practically every night (sometimes twice a night!) from Thanksgiving up until New Year's Day. Patrick ("Jean-Luc Picard") Stewart sleepwalks through the title role, complete with his trademark bald pate. Beam me up, Cratchit! There's no intelligent life in this film. Do yourself a favor and rent the definitive rendering of A Christmas Carol, the 1951 British version, which stars the legendary Alastair Sim, who masterfully portrays the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge.

#06 - SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE [1985]
SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE [1985] Image

Santa and his elves foil a Christmas toy profiteer in a film so overblown, ludicrous and bland that it effectively terminated the acting career of Dudley Moore, who portrays an elf named "Patch."

#05 - JINGLE ALL THE WAY [1996]
JINGLE ALL THE WAY [1996] Image

Arnold Schwarzenegger spends the ENTIRE movie searching aimlessly throughout the city for a hot toy, TURBO MAN, that his kid wants for Christmas. Sinbad keeps showing up for some reason, fighting with Arnold to get his own hands on this fuckin' toy. Phil Hartman plays the obnoxious neighbor who actually has the balls to hit on Schwarzenegger's wife. James Belushi is a seedy mall Santa. This may very well be Arnold's worst movie and that's saying a hell of a lot!

#04 - A CHRISTMAS CAROL [2004]
A CHRISTMAS CAROL [2004] Image

Can you imagine spending $18 million on a musical version of A Christmas Carol and discovering that the actor you hired to play Ebenezer Scrooge has decided to impersonate Mr. Magoo? Five minutes into this insipid TV version of A Christmas Carol, I realized that star Kelsey Grammer was indeed imitating none other than Jim Backus in the classic animated film, Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol (1962)! And then I read an article where Grammer actually admitted that Magoo’s performance as Scrooge was his favorite! However, as bad as Grammer was, the worst performance of the night had to be Jason Alexander as the ghost of Jacob Marley. Believe it or not, Alexander plays Marley as a cross between George Costanza and Edward Scissorhands with long, stringy hair and white makeup caked on his face. After informing Scrooge that he will be visited by three spirits, Marley starts doing this inexplicable, ridiculous dance and is soon joined by a variety of assorted ghouls in a wretched musical number ("Link by Link") straight out of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’m sure Charles Dickens was doing backflips in his grave at this point. Don’t even get me started talking about the Ghost of Christmas Past, who looked like she was auditioning to be a Playboy Playmate, or the Ghost of Christmas Present, who was a dead-ringer for Rick James!

#03 - CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS [2004]
CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS [2004] Image

Imagine three of the worst episodes of "Home Improvement" strung together and you’ll get a sense of how incredibly pathetic a film we’re talking about here. Here’s the entire plot in a nutshell: Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis) Krank decide to skip Christmas one year and take a cruise. Their annoying neighbors try to force them into the Christmas spirit. That’s it folks! Christmas with the Kranks makes National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation seem like a masterpiece in comparison. Where’s Cousin Eddie when you need him? The cast includes M. Emmet Walsh (a quality actor totally wasted in a role as the cranky neighbor), Cheech Marin (as a cop!), Jake Busey (as another cop) and Dan Ackroyd’s bald spot. Some horny, Mr. Skin wannabes may be excited by the prospect of viewing Jamie Lee Curtis in a bikini—but I'm here to inform you that she's about 20 years too late to produce any such thrills.

#02 - JACK FROST [1998]
JACK FROST [1998] Image

In perhaps the most ludicrous, brain-dead idea for a holiday film ever committed to celluloid, Michael Keaton plays a dead rock musician (named Jack Frost, of course) who returns to life as a snowman after his son summons him from beyond the grave by playing a magic harmonica. His mission? To help this dopey kid defeat the school bully in a snowball fight! Critic Roger Ebert found the snowman to be "the most repulsive single creature in the history of special effects." Rent Frosty the Snowman instead.

#01 - SANTA WITH MUSCLES [1996]
SANTA WITH MUSCLES [1996] Image

"Watch out, he's got a candy cane!" Hulk Hogan portrays a Scrooge-like millionaire who gets knocked in the head and believes he's really Santa Claus. So he starts beating the shit out of a bunch of thugs. Also stars Clint Howard. Painful to watch and simply one of the worst films ever made. Period.

User Comments - Add a Comment
Herb West - 2007-11-20 03:01:03
Very enjoyable. This got me curious about "Santa with Muscles" and I noticed that Amazon.com has sellers offering it at $1.45 ... or $80 for a "collectible" copy. Yeah, I'll bet those are just flying off the shelves at that price.
alyssa - 2007-11-22 03:38:07
LAME! Home Alone 2 is a GREAT film!
Jayme - 2007-12-08 05:17:59
Jack Frost is a good movie! I think its a really sweet christmas story, it makes me tear up everytime! To me the movie to avoid is the Christmas Carol movie with Vanessa Williams that VH1 did a few years back... THAT was a bad one...
Dave - 2007-12-24 10:10:40

santaclausmartians

 

By far, the worst holiday movie (and possible THE worst movie ever) has to be Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Klarice - 2008-02-17 03:38:35

santasslay

 

you totally missed "Santa's Slay" ....pro-wrestler plays blood-lusting Santa set free from the bonds of a Norwegian myth...dorky teen and girlfriend must stop the terror. it's bad.

Phil - 2008-10-28 19:02:53

This list is null and void without Santa Conquers the Martians

jorg - 2008-12-04 10:23:55

I think Deck the Halls with Matthew Brodrick and Danny Devito was about the worst piece of shit Christmas movie I ever paid good money to watch. Surviving Christmas would rank a close second. God bless and Merry Christmas to all!

Anonymous - 2008-12-20 18:33:43

you guys are all fucking homo, i can't wait to watch every single one of those movies. ESPECIALLY santa with muscles

wolf - 2008-12-25 04:58:39

Most of these movies on this list are actually funny movies and who ever came up with the list is an idiot!

notnotlickingtoads - 2009-01-05 02:11:19

You left off Prancer, a great suckfest of a movie, made in Three Tokes Michigan. Watch closely and you can see a moviehand?spectator? running through a forest shot- or when they need less than a full moon they tape a piece of paper on the window. Probably its biggest claim to fame was when a poster for the movie appeared in the background of a Seinfeld episode.

Seba - 2009-01-09 03:48:08

Santa Claus is a very good movie , i saw it when i had maybe 9 o 10 years !!!!

Musicgeek - 2009-11-27 04:45:33

I agree with the 2004 version. But I think the "Picard"-Christmas Carol was a fine portrayal of Dickens' classic novel.

Brainsnack - 2010-11-30 23:09:14

Home Alone 2 is a great xmas movie. I bet you were molested during the holiday season when you were young, buttlicker.

Anonymous - 2010-12-01 03:16:03

Okay, I agree with you on A Christmas Carol (1999), Jack Frost (1998), and Santa With Muscles. But Home Alone 2? It did pretty good. I think the first and third are better, though.

Natalie - 2010-12-05 01:28:45

i loved christmas carol the musical! who cares if kelsey grammer acted like mister magoo? and all the ghosts were fine, dandy and entertaining! it doesn't have to be completely by the book!!! jeez!

bigg3469 - 2010-12-09 15:19:07

Does anyone remember the UBER cheesy "sci-fi" movie " Santa Claus Conquer The Martians" starring a young Pia Zadora ??? This slocky smultzfest deserves to be on the "bad" list!

JOEL Bronkowski - 2010-12-26 18:56:16

This list is ridiculous, clearly the writer has not watched a number of made for tv movies such as Christmas in the clouds or a Christmas Choir.....

Ernie - 2012-11-26 18:14:23

Only one disagreement, but only sortakinda - I would have replaced "Jack Frost" with Bill Goldberg's shitfest "Santa's Slay". "Jack Frost" was pretty bad, I'll grant you, but the Goldberg flick was right up there with "Santa with Muscles".

S. Strauch - 2012-12-03 19:01:05

What you seem not to understand is that these films are for kids, not pedantic adults. My kids love Jingle All the Way, Home Alone 2 and the Grinch. I can't believe that you left out Will Ferrel's awful Elf (in fact all of his films are execrable).