Top 10 Best Seinfeld Episodes
#10 - The Face Painter
The Face Painter Image

Jerry gets tickets to a New York Rangers game. Elaine's boyfriend, Puddy, has his face painted "to support the team!" Puddy scares the shit out of the priest, who screams out, "Diablo!" George tells his girlfriend he loves her and she acts like she didn't hear him. Kramer has to apologize to the chimp because the chimp threw something at him and he said something back to it. Jerry gets screwed on the tickets and has to go with Puddy in the nosebleed seats. They have to spell out "Devils" on their chests.

#09 - The Wig Master
The Wig Master Image

Remember when Jerry buys this jacket from some snooty guy and Elaine wants to get to know him and they start going out? And he tells Elaine he'll get her a good deal on a dress, but keeps putting it off. Then George has this guest at his house and he's the wig master for Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. And Jerry and this wig master are sitting at the restaurant and this other guy comes up and asks the wig master out on a date. And Jerry says to him, "How do you know we're not together?" And Kramer asks to borrow the technicolor dreamcoat. Also George leaves his car in a parking garage and finds condoms in the car and thinks the hookers down there are pimping in his car. And then they give Kramer a Cadillac and he's wearing the dreamcoat and they almost arrest him for being a pimp.

#08 - The Friar's Club
The Friar's Club Image

Jerry goes to a restaurant with George, Susan and Susan's friend Hallie. And Jerry is not wearing a suit and they give him one to wear and he ends up walking out with the jacket. And then J. Peterman hires this deaf guy, Bob Grossman, and he can't hear any of the assignments, so Elaine gets stuck with all of the assignments. That's about it.

#07 - The Doll
The Doll Image

Remember Susan's friend Sally comes down? Jerry wanted this barbecue sauce from the South that had Charles Grodin's face on it. And then Susan has a doll that looks like George's mother. And then George's father puts a pool table in the room and invites the maestro and Kramer over. And the maestro takes off his pants. And they're playing pool. They all have their pants off and George's mother walks in and says, "what's going on here?" They end up using the conductor's baton as a pool cue.

#06 - The Jacket
The Jacket Image

Jerry buys this suede jacket for about $1,000. Nobody wants to have dinner with Elaine's father, but they end up there. He's like a freakin' mafia character who has written a book, a real Mickey Spillane type. Alton Benes. He's played by legendary tough guy Lawrence Tierney. Elaine shows up late. They're going to the restaurant and it's snowing outside. Jerry has a reversible jacket with pink stripes on the inside. He wants to save the suede, so he reverses it. Elaine's dad is like, "you're not going with us like that!" So he has to change back to the suede. His jacket ends up getting ruined.

#05 - The Close Talker
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Jerry's parents are visiting and Elaine brings her new boyfriend, Aaron, over. He's a "close talker" and invites Jerry's parents out on the town. Kramer goes to get his clothes at this vintage clothing store. Morty suggests selling his old raincoats (the "executive"). Morty and Kramer think they can make a bundle selling these things. George gets the idea that his father has some clothing in the attic to sell. Meanwhile, Aaron keeps taking the Seinfelds everywhere and she gets pissed off. She's wondering why this young guy wants to hang out with these old fossils. The clothes George brings have moths and the guy has to take the clothes out back to the alley and burn them. George wants the Seinfelds to take this kid to Paris to get out of a Big Brother situation. At the end, Aaron goes ape shit over the Seinfeld's well-being. "This ring could buy one more dinner, this watch, one more outing!"

#04 - The Hot Tub
The Hot Tub Image

Elaine has this marathon runner staying at her apartment, Jean-Paul. She had forgotten to set his alarm at a previous race and he missed it. He's running the New York Marathon. Jerry's worried that she'll screw up again. So throughout the episode, Jerry is trying to make sure he will wake up in time. Takes him to motel room. Offends the wake-up guy at the motel. So they go back to his place. In the meantime, Kramer had some problems with his hot tub. There's a power outage because of the hot tub. Jean-Paul ends up being late for the race. So he gets down to the race and he's running the race. They're giving water out, but Kramer's drinking hot coffee. Jean-Paul picks up the hot coffee, thinking it's ice water and burns his throat.

#03 - The Puffy Shirt
The Puffy Shirt Image

Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and his girlfriend are having dinner. Kramer's girlfriend is a "soft talker." She designs her own clothing. Throughout the whole dinner, no one can understand what she is saying. So Kramer goes to the bathroom and the girlfriend starts talking, they can't hear her, so they say "oh yes" and nod their heads. Kramer comes back to the table and it turns out she wanted Jerry to wear a puffy shirt on the Today Show. It looks like a pirate shirt. George is at a restaurant with his parents and a woman notices his hands and suggests that he would make a great hand model. He starts hand modeling. They say that this one legendary guy who was a professional hand model couldn't refrain from jerking off. So George is real protective of his hands. He even wears oven mittens. George burns his hands on the iron used on the puffy shirt. At the end, homeless guys are found wearing the puffy shirt. "Can you spare some change for an old buccaneer?"

#02 - The Ugly Baby
The Ugly Baby Image

Friends of Jerry and Elaine invite them to the Hamptons to see their baby. George and his girlfriend, Jerry and his girlfriend, Kramer and Elaine go out there. While George goes to get tomatoes for his parents, everyone sees his girlfriend topless, which he hasn't seen himself. George is mad, so he wants to get even. He keeps trying to walk in on Jerry's girlfriend. However, he's been swimming and Jerry's girlfriend walks in on him and starts laughing. And he yells out, "I've just been swimming and it's cold!" Then Elaine is introduced to the pediatrician who says that she is breathtaking. The only problem is that it's an ugly baby and he says the baby is breathtaking. She's confused. Kramer steals the lobsters from the traps. George's girlfriend leaves because Jerry's girlfriend tells her about George's inadequacies. George gets even by serving her lobster in her eggs.

#01 - The Marble Rye
The Marble Rye Image

Kramer and Newman go somewhere and buy huge cans of Beef-A-Roni and tuna fish just because they want to buy in bulk. Susan's parents invite George's parents over for dinner and his parents bring over a marble rye. And George's father says, "Who has sex with the rooster, the chicken or the hen?" Susan's father replies, "They all have sex with the rooster." And then George's mother asks, "What kind of wine is this?" And Susan's mother says, "Oh, it's a Merlot." And George's mother asks, "Is that something new?" George's parents end up taking the marble rye home. And then George has to sneak the marble rye back into the house. So George takes Susan's parents on a horse-drawn carriage ride. And Kramer was taking over as the horse guy for a friend who left town. He had been feeding the horse Beef-A-Roni and the horse starts farting and shitting. So they can't stand the smell and they ask to be taken back to their house. In the meantime, Jerry had stolen the marble rye from the old bag. George ends up taking the marble rye up via a fishing pole.

User Comments - Add a Comment
Rob - 2008-03-25 19:55:45
Where the FUCK is "The Contest"
jose - 2008-04-27 05:32:33
soup nazi!?!
Anonymous - 2008-05-03 05:35:48
i liked the one where kramer bought a section of highway and it ended up in flames.
John - 2008-05-19 01:49:38
The Ugly Baby is the best. The Pen, which doesn't make your list, is #2.
nisse - 2008-06-20 14:45:58
where the hell is "the opposite" episode?
apple - 2008-07-24 05:15:31
the soup nazi and the magic loogie were good ones!
Kyle - 2008-07-25 07:29:38
I have the complete series on dvd and i must say THe Puerto Rican Day from seson 9 should be in the top 5.
Anonymous - 2008-08-01 20:17:41
The Marine Biologist is definitely the best episode. The Opposite is also good
Andy - 2008-09-12 13:41:23

The episode is called "The Hamptons" not "The Ugly Baby". Its still hilarious.

Max Power - 2008-11-11 22:59:57

"The Contest" was a stupid and overrated episode. It's good to see a list that actually recognizes that.

Anonymous - 2008-12-26 09:22:53

"Soup nazi" has to be right up there!

will - 2009-01-02 08:01:18

The Heckler is good too, when Kramer is telling the story about how he drove the bus is hilarious. The Junior Mint is good also.

Anonymous - 2009-01-11 00:44:43

you don't even have the right names for the episodes this is a joke

Lexi - 2009-01-13 00:54:59

What about the Poppy Seeds episode!?!?!?

Dave - 2009-01-27 19:14:13

The pothole was the best episode by far!!!

Marty - 2009-02-02 19:06:31

What about the Chinese Resaturant?

Otis - 2009-02-03 19:09:20

Kreamer and Merv Griffin's stage set up in his apartment. Best Ever!

Camcha - 2009-02-12 15:29:16

Soup Nazi is legendary...c'mon...

kelly - 2009-03-15 12:25:02

what episode is it where gorge and seinfeld interview with nbc and pitch the show about nothing

birdman - 2009-03-27 22:11:39

agreed, merv griffin episode. best ever.

Jesse - 2009-04-27 22:27:03

Terrible list. The Boyfriend #1, hands down. The Soup Nazi is also great.

micheal - 2009-05-15 00:10:42

this is a horrible list some of those episodes names arent spelled right and the contest is nowhere to be found

J.C. - 2009-07-08 16:41:57

Totally agree about "The Contest" being overrated. It's not top ten material.

p - 2009-07-16 03:36:18

if you want a list of the good episodes look at the list this site has for the worst episodes.

SoozeOr - 2009-07-21 17:03:44

I also think "the contest" should be on that list, one of the best episodes ever! Also the one with the woman and the weird belly noises: "hellooooo" ..."La La La" :)

steel - 2009-07-27 12:28:16

come on everyone! the best is "the opposite"..period.

True Seinfeld Fan - 2009-07-30 23:24:30

Bubble Boy?!?!?!?! This list is seriously messed up. I'm sorry.

Sarah - 2009-11-08 19:10:34

The episode listed as "The Close Talker" is actually "The Raincoats." I definitely would have put The Yadda Yadda on here. Or the Calzone--gotta love that Steinbrenner.

cake - 2009-11-16 05:03:54

marine biologist..! The Opposite !

duckas - 2009-11-20 22:33:56

hey the episode where jerry and george head to nbc to repitch their pilot and give the japanese the oranges is " The Checks":):) pretty good one

Yasser - 2009-11-21 23:12:46

The pez dispenser is hilarious ! best one !

Zekmonsta - 2009-11-24 04:44:48

You got half the names of the episodes wrong douche, not a good list

David - 2009-11-26 12:22:32

What about the one where George gets a meaaassge? What about the one where George appears to be in love with Jerry?

Kristen - 2009-12-21 09:58:11

spare a square!? anybody?

firefalcoln - 2011-02-03 21:37:39

10. The Opposite 9. The Comeback 7. The Junior Mint 6. The Library 5. The Pen 4. The Boyfriend 3. The Contest 2. The Soup Nazi 1. The Puffy Shirt Almost in the top 10(in no paticular order) The bizzaro Jerry The Little Kicks The Merve Griffith show The Jacket The marble rye episode The Mango The Marine Biologist The engagement The envelopes The seven The fire (sorry I don't like the hamptons episode)

TRUE FAN - 2011-03-24 04:33:55
im really impressed no one even mention "The Pool Guy", stop, go watch it, now try to define the purest idea of seinfeld. Its the best.
Felipe - 2011-04-08 01:31:47
WOW, terrible list! Many bad episodes in it and many amazing ones were left out. I very much disagree!
christian - 2011-06-21 22:31:48
The Chinese restaurant?
Anonymous - 2012-09-03 08:17:38

Absolutely the worst top 10 list I've ever seen for Seinfeld. There are some good shows on here but, damn man. This is like a "best of the shows I'VE seen list" not best of the best. Yeah the Contest and The Mel Torme episdoe where Kramer is handicapped would be 1 and 2 on any normal list.

Anonymous - 2013-03-13 17:45:34

California episodes ... Post "the keys" episodes are absolutely the best!

Matt - 2013-03-14 04:53:25

yes because obviously everybody has to have the same opinions about everything. GOD FORBID we leave out such obvious choices that EVERYBODY already praises. good atypical list, i like it.

Micko - 2014-06-25 09:18:13

Assman!