"I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis."
"Religion easily has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man . . . living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of 10 specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money."
"When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat."
"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions."
“What's all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably need more than motivation. You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery. Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me.”
"Consumption. This is the new national pastime. Fuck baseball, it's consumption, the only true, lasting American value that's left . . . buying things . . . People spending money they don't have on things they don't need . . . So they can max out their credit cards and spend the rest of their lives paying 18 percent interest on something that cost $12.50. And they didn't like it when they got it home anyway. Not too bright, folks, not too fuckin' bright."
"We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna save the fuckin' planet? . . . And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin' great. It's been here over four billion years . . . The planet isn't goin' anywhere, folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake."
"Actually this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That's all, a little place for my stuff. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there. That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get . . . more stuff! Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore."
"Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice . . . you don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own, and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying . . . lobbying, to get what they want . . . Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I’ll tell you what they don’t want . . . they don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that . . . that doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests. That’s right. They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin' years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want? They want obedient workers . . . Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your fuckin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They’ll get it . . . they’ll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin' place. It’s a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in The big club. By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table has tilted folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good honest hard-working people . . . white collar, blue collar it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on. Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means . . . continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t give a fuck about you . . . they don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t care about you at all . . . at all . . . at all, and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. It’s called the American Dream cause you have to be asleep to believe it . . .”
"There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can't say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 . . . to seven. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. 'All of you words over here, you seven . . . baaaad words.' That's what they told us, right? 'That's a bad word!' Awwww. No bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords. You know the seven, don't ya? That you can't say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. Huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the words that'll infect your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war. Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits, wow! And tits doesn't even belong on the list! It seems like such a friendly word. Sounds like a nickname. 'Hey Tits, come here man! Tits! Meet my friend Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots.' Sounds like a snack . . . oh yeah, it is. Right. But I don't mean your sexist snack, I mean new Nabisco Tits. Corn Tits n' Sesame Tits n' Cheese Tits . . . Tater Tits. Bet you can't eat just one!"
To: Travis in the Trunk - 2008-07-31 17:48:58 I agree, have respect for the man. Don't these people think its enough that George would spend an eternity being tortured in hell and they have to come around and spread things George did not believe in, among us fans of Saint George. I know he made my life much more enjoyable! My dream was to have George Carlin and Bill Mahre over to my house with some friends and get loaded. Now it can never be.
George was the real prince of Reality TV how he described, was the way is kinda is!!!!!!!!!!!
So, Carlin was a communist? Excellent!
Class quotes!! I loved this guy has inspired and liberated me from the wretch that is the human race...And In that realisation Ive also laughed my ass off!! Russell Brand is gonna be the new GC.. Watch this space!
I found out who he was a few years back, and promptly download everything I can about him. Great stuffs from a great man. I was truly sadden when he died. But instead of admiring his life or being sad over his dead, I think he would want us to keep an eye out for the next George Carlin (be it one of us even)....and continue with his work. Fight on the good fight....with laughter.
"So, Carlin was a communist?". I think he was an anarchist, I don't know if anarchosocialist or anarchoindividualist or anarchoprimitivist. I think the first one.
He's not just a comedian. He's a philosopher, a visionary, a thinker. He's a motherfucking genius.
I agree with Mouse. He is sort of jester telling people bad and true things they don't want to hear.
I had the amazing luck to witness George Carlin at a young age. My parents always liked him and so I got to stay up late and watch his HBO specials many years back. Growing up in that environment has turned me into the delightful Cynic I have become. Carlin will be missed.
George Carlin was one of my favorite people to watch
he's dead people hes fucking dead he wants it that way oh btw he's probly in hell right now going, "Well, there is a fucking hell. All well, i still don't belive in any of theis fucking shit anyway."
R.I.P.George you were and always will be the greatest. I hope you are still giving someone hell somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wasn't really into labels either XD "For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label." You know, he might not appreciate this, but I hope he's in heaven. I guess that's all I can do. He was really funny though ^_^. I'm currently more interested in his old stuff *and I picked him for my homework project for an influential American in the 20th-21st century. He better get me an 'A'*
"I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too" --> That's a fucking damned LIE. Atheism is NOT a belief, it's the absence of beliefs. Those who think that there is an invisible man living in the sky are believing something. Atheists don't believe anything of that shit. By the way and either way, atheists don't believe there is no God, they are POSITIVE about that. We are.
I bet he's down there screaming up at us. And I think he's in severe pain.
Actually, atheism IS a belief system. All it preaches is that all the religions are totally wrong, that there is no God, and there is nothing after death. The adherents to this tend to believe and expose it... well... RELIGIOUSLY! They are just as bad as any religious group out there. George was the last and best of the Truth Tellers. I have been a fan since an early age and I am saddened that I will never be able to meet the Man, shake his hand, and tell him how hearing him tell the unvarnished truth has opened my eyes to the shit that our world has become. Wait for us with the sun, George,, and Joe Peshi watch over you.
Atheism is not a religion at all. Carlin called religion what it is : BS. No one is going to "see george in the sun". The dead don't see and there is NO afterlife. I'm glad I was in Carlin's world, in Carlin's time. The only time I'll ever have. All the more precious because it is short and finite.
"Arnold Ziffel - 2008-06-24 16:57:38 He turned into a whiny pussy towards the end of his career - his early stuff was good but the last 3rd was limp-wristed liberal spewing hatred of the country that allowed him to make his MILLIONS and then not even appreciate it." Arnold Arnold Arnold... The words Carlin and Liberal shan't fall in the same sentence. He was an equal opportunity bigot... he hated everyone equally... If you class him as such, you were either (1) too young to "Get it," (2) too stupid to "get it," or (3) Not paying attention.
Daryl, Atheism is not a religion of belief system. It's a philosophical viewpoint that has an understanding that deities do not exist. In other words, it is the opposite of theism, which is the belief in deities or Gods. Atheism is simply the absence of belief in a deity or god. That said, Carlin was a genius. His dominion over the English language and knowledge of the world and it's workings was something that you would not expect a comedian to have, and yet he was incredible at both. And made you laugh and you learned the lessons.
ok, for all u people saying that he's burning in hell right now...ur stupid, im an atheist and i know that a large portion of people interpret the bible wrong and that there isn't a hell nor satan, satan was the representation of evil, not an actual deity, and hell doesn't exist because god is all good and loves everybody, do you really think somebody who loves you would let u burn for an eternity? no, of course not. it's kinda funny that christians or catholics or w/e dont know shit about their own religion, it proves how ignorant people are and what they'll believe when they dont understand something, and if ur going to be religious, at least know what ur religion is about.....george carlin was and still is awesome...woo!
This comment goes out to that guy named Kesher who made the comment that he's "Spanish". Look Kesher, Spanish is the language, Mexican is the race. I wasn't going to post but yea, that really caught my attention. George Carlin your my hero. Bake some pies for me in hell without an oven.
But Kevin, Kesher is from Spain......
You're spanish if you're from Spain... Mexican if your from Mexico... dont assume someone is Mexican when they say they are Spanish.. it just makes you look like an idiot
How bout, "There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."
He was the greatest philosopher to come out of America. Ever.
George Carlin was AMAZING, BRILLIANT, SMART, FUNNY.. The best this world has seen.
I think George Carlin said it best in his last televised event concerning basic barbaric human inter-relations, and I am paraphrasing him: "I have the right to tell you things that piss you off, and you have the right to shoot me."
RIP George! You will ALWAYS be remembered, at least by me.
He was my hero, I really looked up to this man of great geniusness. (if thats even a word). R.I.P George Carlin, you shall be missed by many.
The 20th century's greatest thinker. I hope he is in hell telling the devil he doesn't exist - i think he'd like that. he's looking up at us, and screaming.
Rest in piece motherfucker
Right now he's in the Atheist form of Heaven telling God to fuck off, and talking shit to Satan. R.I.P. George. You will be missed.
I really think his best quote is: "I got fired from a gig in vegas for saying "SHIT" where the big game is called CRAPS. I could just here it now some big shot saying AWW SHIT I CRAPPED. They fly those guys in for free.... But they fired me......shiiiit....."
hey Kesher, you know who he is now!
rest in peace george you were a genious! and I know you will rest in peace cause you are dead! Loving your memory cause you opened my eyes finally to all the bullshit in the world. I am loving the show!
Funny? Yes. Brilliant? Certainly. Genius? Sure, why not? Yet while he seemed to start out from a deep sense of justice and decency, how sad that his jaundiced view on the world left him such a bitter, cynical, angry and empty old man, ringing his mighty call to nihilism and, ultimately, defeat. Leaves me sick at heart.
George Carlin is amazing.....I said "is amazing" becouse people like him never die.....He is alive...he is alive and telling us every where the true about very important things....people say that he is a comedian......I say he is a huge human being. I got you George!.....See you when I see you.
The one and only true speaking person on the planet does not live anymore. Thank you for all the "eye opening". It helped me. All the other sheep can listen to politicians, go to the church or watch the media. Not for me. I am just living no mo' no less. Just eating, drinking and fucking until I die.
i completely agree with what you wrote to that guy who didn't get it. i am glad that you do, and some others. Carlin tried to enlighten us to our situation- he was a funny man, but he was also one of the best teachers of all time. Trying to teach what was going on & how to not take things so personally that you just keep reacting through dealing with others in society.
we need more like him with power for the serfs of the world not only us americans; he spoke for all humanity go G.C. go!
I remember sneeking my parents Carlin albums and listening to them. The man was a wealth of common sense, and funny... I will miss him.
yo, keep it circulating. Carlin was not only a comedian, he was a man that makes you use your brain, Carlin was a man that spoke the truth in his own New York way
Cleaning up my bookmarks, this has been in my bookmarks for YEARS glad its still here. RIP George. One of the wisest and most eloquent comedians in history.
He was truly that rare intellect deserving of the term "Genius" an altogether overly used and usually not deserved characterization. Moreover, he seemed to grow in intellect at the end, or perhaps was more expressive of his high mindedness and thus came off as heading in a darker direction. Nevertheless, he is heads and shoulders in my mind the greatest comic, social commentator and natural philosopher I have ever heard live in my lifetime.
You know what folks? if George could see these posts, he'd say "Who the fuck are you typing these words for, cause it sure as hell ain't me. Hell I'm dead and pushin' up daisies, and by the way...back your bags."
all of you generation Y chromosoidal mongloids with naught for common and less than superior intelligence listen up! George Carlin was a legacy beyond what any of you self-satisfied, selfish, arrogant, ignorant pricks will ever accomplish in your lifetime