Top 10 Drinking Quotes Of All Time
#10 - Anonymous
Anonymous Image

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol."

#09 - Dean Martin [1917-95]
Dean Martin [1917-95] Image

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

#08 - Dylan Thomas [1914-53]
Dylan Thomas [1914-53] Image

"An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."

#07 - Billy Carter [1937-88]
Billy Carter [1937-88] Image

"Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is."

#06 - Tom Waits [1949- ]
Tom Waits [1949-  ] Image

"I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy." [Editor's Note: This quote has been widely attributed to Dorothy Parker.]

#05 - W.C. Fields [1880-1946]
W.C. Fields [1880-1946] Image

"Somebody left the cork out of my lunch."

#04 - Ernest Hemingway [1899-1961]
Ernest Hemingway [1899-1961] Image

"Drinking is a way of ending the day."

#03 - Charles Bukowski [1920-94]
Charles Bukowski [1920-94] Image

"There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit - I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.”

#02 - Frank Sinatra [1915-98]
Frank Sinatra [1915-98] Image

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

#01 - George Jean Nathan [1882-1958]
George Jean Nathan [1882-1958] Image

"I drink to make other people interesting."

Top 10 Drinking Quotes, Part 2

User Comments - Add a Comment
scay - 2007-10-21 01:24:43
the frank sinatra quote is wrong. it should read "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." otherwise it makes no sense
Raven - 2007-10-21 02:40:23
Number 2 is punctuated incorrectly. It should read, "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Anonymous - 2007-10-21 04:50:52
#2 is a mis-quote. The punctuation is wrong. It should read: "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
anonimouse - 2007-10-21 08:31:01
"Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" "And you, Madam, are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober."
Tyler - 2007-10-21 08:36:23
Anyone reading other comments before writing their own? Cheers
jake - 2007-10-21 08:42:57
i have no problem with the quote that talks about getting drunk every morning. that's my morning routine. PABST BLUE RIBBON, baby!!!
Steve - 2007-10-21 08:46:13
The Frank Sinatra quote is wrong. It should read: "I drink for people who don't feel sorry. When they feel me up in the morning, that's as good as they'll wake up all day."
grim - 2007-10-21 08:54:16
#6 is also wrong. He actually said "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." Where'd you get that "free" and "pre-" nonsense.
oldfart namvet - 2007-10-21 10:04:38
You forgot the Nixon years favorite: "Hold my beer and watch this"
Anonymous - 2007-10-21 10:41:17
Homer Simpson: "To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"
Forgodsake - 2007-10-21 10:50:21
# Sinatra. The punctuation is quoted wrongly, it should read blah blah blah
RatPackPete - 2007-10-21 13:15:06
#2 wasn't said by Frank at all, it was Dean Martins line.
Anonymous - 2007-10-21 13:51:02
Oscar Wilde - "Work is the curse of the drinking classes"
Thumax - 2007-10-21 14:28:16
#2 actually quotes the wrong source. Joe E. Lewis, a comedian, actually is the originator. Frank Sinatra used the line in a movie about Joe E. Lewis's life. "The Joker is Wild"
timc - 2007-10-21 20:37:57
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin
Tom Goodfellow - 2007-10-21 22:34:55
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her - W.C. Fields
Polly Sigh - 2007-10-22 11:24:50
Boy, that steve sure is smart! Gregg Schroeder of the Society of Hysterical Idealogical Trends agrees, but wants to add that we cannot forget one of the most famous quotes; "The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get" Joe Walsh.
Gator - 2007-10-22 14:17:09
"I always keep a bottle handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy." W.C. Fields
buster flatts - 2007-10-25 08:27:18
Number two is backwards... Frank was facing the other direction when he said that!
Geekette - 2007-10-29 16:22:48
i like Dean Martin's quote the best.. why? i can relate with a personal experience :) Cheers everyone!
Eddie Random - 2007-10-29 21:55:56
"Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets..." - From 'Arthur' as quoted by Dudley Moore. Truer words were never spoken
beansie - 2007-10-30 19:33:58
"Drunkenness . . . is temporary suicide." -- Bertrand Russell
Julie - 2007-11-19 11:36:20
From quite a few of the other top ten lists that I have read here, I'm not surprised that you found a quote with the word "shit" included. I am suprised that no one used "fuck" in a quote! How tame!!
Llewellyn - 2007-11-30 00:28:04
In terms of alcohol in general , it is stimulating to the mind.. those that do not drink are missing out
john green - 2007-12-30 06:24:09
they missed out the winston churchill quote, so the did'nt do much research
Barry - 2008-01-22 09:41:35
"Id like to hook up a vodka IV going please"
Benny Hill - 2008-01-23 00:08:52
Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason--- Now I have a reason.
SoberNow - 2008-01-25 02:11:58
Please we get it... the frank sinatra quote was wrong... please...go have a bottle of Jack Daniels and stop reposting the same thing everyone else already said. This is the second time someone mentioned this... where is the Jack Daniels.
ThanksDrinking - 2008-01-30 10:40:01
The Jack Daniels is over at www.ThanksDrinking.com My Personal favorite is "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut" - Ernest Hemmingway
dherkes - 2008-03-07 05:04:45
I don't think that Dean Martin actually drank. It was part of his stage presence, his act.
Apache24 - 2008-03-09 14:29:11
Here's to all the kisses I've snatched, and vice versa.
Sean - 2008-04-05 11:38:22
The Frank Sinatra Quote is also wrong because it was a Dean Martin Joke!
PS - 2008-05-13 07:18:32
Number 2 is photoshopped
Josh - 2008-11-29 06:30:51

Peter Griffin - " Let's drink 'til we don't feel feelings!"

cypert2 - 2008-12-10 08:18:11

Another good one from Churchill. Bernard Montgomery the WWII British general was a proud teetotlar and said "I never smoke or have a drink and I am 100% healthy." When Churchill heard this his reply was "I have a smoke and a drink every day and I am 200% healthy!"

Impartial Observer - 2008-12-17 16:30:46

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields

some drunk - 2009-01-02 15:05:04

Great cheers - "may all your ups and downs in life, happen in between the sheets" - not sure.

Sara - 2009-01-13 22:42:33

#9, attributed here to Dean Martin, was actually said by Joe E. Lewis. Dean was quoting Joe. #2 wasn't Frank Sinatra either, but is also Joe E. Lewis, as someone else previously said. But then again, Dean and Frank were a bit more well-known then poor Mr. Lewis!

Vinay - 2009-04-05 08:37:13

"I drink to make other people interesting." ---- THE BEST! :) SO SO TRUE! :D

chimeri - 2009-07-31 02:52:51

"Oh shit look out for the...."- Billy Martin

chrismoose - 2009-09-24 10:54:27

Frank did say it actually...Sinatra at the Sands...live album c1965. I listen to it regularly so there.

Steve33 - 2009-09-29 19:45:21

I was trying to remember the Sinatra Album that he said it on ,thanks for the info "Live at the Sands" It was however part of his act so if Dean said it then we can go to an Oscar Wilde Story Wilde said"I wish I'd said that" to which his friends replied, "You will Oscar....you will..."

Sean - 2009-11-16 12:08:00

The Sinatra quote is wrong, Dean Martin said that.

mr.pussy - 2009-12-17 07:27:05

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol." thats bob marely

emanon - 2010-02-05 19:03:22

Probably the better W.C. Field's quote is "One time we were on a safari, someone forgot the corkscrew and all we had to live on was food and water".

Anonymous - 2010-05-23 14:18:54

havent you guys got better things to comment on? Really!!!!!!!!!

Danny Westhorpe - 2010-06-11 15:41:58

Unknown - Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Dajax - 2010-06-26 04:57:06

The Tom Waits quote should just use frontal lobotomy. PREfrontal lobotomy ruins the rhythm of the line.

Maria Dimova - 2010-07-24 01:32:21

Damn, people! you obviously dont drink!

Larry - 2010-07-28 22:54:32

"Before Smirnoff, accountancy was my life." - from a Smirnoff ad poster.

ElwoodBlues - 2010-08-08 19:01:00

St. Arnold, the patron saint of Brewers and Hop pickers: "through man's sweat, and God's love, beer came into the world."

RByram - 2010-08-10 13:27:06

I got a bottle of wine for my wife. Good trade I think.

naaaty chauhan - 2010-08-16 00:44:09

# 2 is d best one... i love that

eat it - 2010-11-01 10:32:33

'' One last drink please '' - Jack Daniel's last words

Sikandar ceNNA - 2010-11-22 05:59:27

drink, drink and just drink

Valerie - 2010-11-27 22:32:04

That was Dean Martin, not Frank. Skip to 4:14 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRyChNnZmYI

Christine Asbury. - 2011-02-09 13:33:43

Dudee, seriously, shut up. i bet ya'lls breaths stink when ya'll drink. gosh. lord. ugh. OMG! dirty heffers. [: get over drinking, pendaho. SUCKERSSS BAAAAHAAAAAA. [:

99 Bottles of - 2011-02-22 18:27:21

I can definitely say the Sinatra quote was made on track 21 (A Few Last Words aka Sinatra Closing Monologue) of "Sinatra at The Sands with Count Basie & His Orchestra" but he attributes it to "General Irving Lincoln" in the track. A good album if you want to listen to a slice of history. I suspect this was a Rat Pack phrase that was shared freely. For the grammar freaks out there, the exact phrasing he uses on the record is, "We feel sorry for people that don’t drink because when you get up in the morning that's as good as you’re gonna feel for the rest of the day.”

clankityQ - 2011-02-27 01:08:51

what the hell? is everybody here an English teacher? shut the fuck up, quit ruining it for everybody

Pat - 2011-03-21 23:59:43
He who drinks gets drunk, He who gets drunk goes to sleep, He who goes to sleep does not sin, He who does not sin goes to Heaven so let's all drink and go to Heaven.
Tessa - 2011-03-27 14:48:00

Great and funny quotes, here is one of my favs: Love and alcohol are a lot alike… under the influence, you can make some pretty messed up decisions 

Angelina - 2011-04-28 21:24:29
Better Waits quote - "I don't have a drinking problem, except for when I can't get a drink"
hamma - 2011-05-01 04:11:06

" i feel sorry for people " quote is by Dean Martin ...NOT Frank Sinatra are peoiple fukn stupid get it rite

vansh 2 cool - 2011-05-16 06:34:03

u see...i am a good man! i only drink alot so that there is less booze for chidren!!!

Freeway - 2011-06-23 07:35:52
I will drink until I loose my breath!!!!!!!
Anonymous - 2011-07-21 05:07:02
Some of us are very bright. A "quote" is only a "quote" when quoted verbatim. As soon as you start correcing it grammatically it is not a quote anymore.
A Fan - 2011-07-22 14:17:10
"Alcohol, The Cause and Solution to All of Life's Problems." -Homer
Mike - 2011-12-07 21:50:05
The guy is right. Number 9 WAS Dean Martin. And i IS screwed up.
Kevin - 2011-12-08 13:38:48
You're All wrong. There.
vathorya - 2011-12-24 11:29:56
i think both dean martin and sinatra's quotes are wrong, check this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz2cZx118P0
kishor - 2012-02-06 12:09:41
its true i drink jst for a forgeting da pain
Gnu - 2012-07-27 04:41:33

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink when I'm awake!

Coach 9-19-13 - 2013-09-19 17:33:12

You know you have had too much Red Wine when you order when you order another Wed Rine.

Chris - 2013-09-22 10:55:14

I thought that Dean Martin said what you attribute to Frank Sinatra. Are you sure it was Frank?

tintinkerouac - 2013-11-15 16:13:28

Missed a great one... I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. -- Dorothy Parker

Mark - 2014-01-19 10:09:59

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. - George Best

GranCarlos - 2014-06-11 15:11:29

ever heard? "... the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, So I had one more for dessert." - Mr Cash ladies and gents

markis - 2014-07-07 08:06:02

For the record it wasn't Dean or Frank who said I feel sorry for those who don't drink...They both used it in their act...But it was first said by Jack Lemmon in the film Under the Yum Yum Tree.