One of the greatest film directors of all time, Orson Welles was also a world-class drinker and in this infamous clip he's all fucked up as he tries to survive a couple takes for a Paul Masson commercial. The bloated auteur had probably plowed through two or three bottles himself from the look of things. I enjoy the couple at the table—they're completely bewildered as to what to do. Meanwhile, there are several people in the background milling around, pretending that a dinner party is going on . . . "We will sell no wine before it's time!"

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