Top 10 Things That Pissed Me Off in 2009

Andy - 2007-12-25 10:17:08
Its my right to choose to believe in the rapture not yours. Merry Christmas... Jesus is the reason for this season. Peace

Chris - 2007-12-26 02:27:34
Andy, I think you just proved his point.

Benthook - 2007-12-26 10:40:23
Hey Andy.. Axial tilt is the reason for the season. Keep your bronze age diety myths to yourself please. Thanks

Liam - 2007-12-26 12:10:57
I think Andy must be retarded. He is certainly wrong that Jesus is the reason for this season.

mike - 2007-12-26 18:54:55
haha all of these comments are about andy even mine

Clayman - 2007-12-26 21:57:11
i like these types of lists... can be entertaining and i like pictures :D

Katy - 2007-12-26 22:31:17
I also believe that Jesus is the reason for the season. God bless.

neil - 2007-12-27 02:44:27
...it's not his right to believe in the rapture? or - not believe??

Bryan Stapp - 2007-12-27 05:59:41
I am a rock and roll GOD. Therefore, I AM THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.

Malcolm James - 2007-12-28 00:32:49
I am sitting at my computer desk, I have just proclaimed that my god is my table, everything in this world owes it's existance to this table, I pray to it telepathically and it brings joy and wonder too me. When you can disprove my god without disproving everything about yours then maybe I will sit up and take notice.

TurboFool - 2007-12-29 11:10:12
You know what, Malcolm James, it's arrogant jackasses like you that should really be on this top-ten list. Who are you to cheapen religion so heavily by trying to mockingly convince us that YOUR table is a god and must be respected as such simply because we can't disprove it? Any intelligent, caring, thinking, feeling person knows there is only one true god and it sure as hell isn't your table. Now if you'll excuse me, it's almost time for my daily worship of the great Plastic Black Lawn Jockey, for before him we are all unworthy.

fallnhorse - 2007-12-29 11:19:53
You do know the rapture isn't even written in the bible or any texts. It only the preaching of a pastor back in the 40's.

Raymond - 2007-12-29 12:02:01
It's a bit funny how the people who support rapture act as if the author is saying they CAN'T believe in it. Pretty sure all he said is that it is irrational to believe in it. And it pisses him off that they believe in it. Also, that last picture ruined my day.

Dave Williams - 2007-12-29 14:51:38
Religion is for weak minded people. Wake up there is no God and there is no Santa Clause.

Laura - 2007-12-29 16:26:13
Shut up Dave it's my choice to believe in Santa NOT yours.

Bazooka Joe - 2007-12-29 16:28:24
Just an fyi for Fallnhorse about the rapture and his statement about it not being contained in the Bible... "Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord". 1 Thessalonians 4:17 There are a few other verses as well that mention the rapture. Read before you comment. Also... I'll just go ahead and be one of those "Weak Minded" idiots then Dave Williams. We'll all find out one day anyway... but my faith in God has improved my life greatly and made me a better person. Open your hearts and minds a little and you might be surprised by what happens. Peace.

Anonymous - 2007-12-29 17:54:11
Hey "Andy"...fuck you. Jesus is the reason for nothing but causing fear. He never once said you didn't have a right to believe in the rapture, so fuck off you little prick.

Dave Williams - 2007-12-30 08:57:07
Joe, Go ahead and follow some oppressive theory and waste you life away.

Bazooka Joe - 2007-12-30 22:55:08
Well Dave let's see... my life includes the love of downhill skiing, mountain biking, mountaineering, backpacking, camping, movies, music, a wonderful Wife, a beautiful 4 year old Daughter, a great family and a bunch of great friends who take part in my love of the outdoors. I've even got a job I like. Gee... I think I'll stick with my horrible, wasteful, oppressive lifestyle... Thanks. Look man... no need to be nasty and all angry... not everyone that believes and loves God is a nut job. You have absolutely every right to 'not' believe in God... while I have every right to believe and not be ripped on for it. Peace.

Dave Williams - 2007-12-31 07:56:35
Joe try spending more time downhill skiing, mountain biking, mountaineering, backpacking, camping, movies enjoying music. Looking after your wonderful Wife and beautiful 4 year old Daughter. Don't waste your time on something that does not exist. Speaking of Peace, Religion is the cause of most of the wars around the world. Wake up Joe get religion out of your life. Peace in your lifetime.

Chris W - 2008-01-02 19:30:50
ALL HAIL TABLE. PRAISE AND WORSHIP BE TO THEE.

Bitch Slapper - 2008-01-06 19:46:43
To all of you directing insults at Andy for expresisng his belief: Fuck all of you whiny shitbag atheistic fartknocking limpy dicked asstard motherfuckers. The only thing worse than people who believe in the rapture are arrogant assholes who think religion is the reason why not even skanky whores will go down on them. You want to cry about your pathetic life do it some place else. Fuckers.

Julie - 2008-01-10 09:00:36
Hey Slapper, I think you forgot to tell everyone "Peace"!

Joanne - 2008-01-14 13:33:08
Why do people go to watch crap like 'Fred Claus' and then complain that it's crap.....of course it was crap....what were you expecting?

Jeff - 2008-02-07 17:11:22
I totally agree about the religion thing. It is sooo narrow minded. It is time that people enlightened themselves and opened their minds. Anything goes, except for religion.

Lyssa - 2008-02-09 23:27:40
The comments are almost as amusing to read as the list itself

Rusty Ryan - 2008-02-16 00:13:21
I'm just amused by how much everyone cares about each other's beliefs.

Anonymous - 2008-02-29 04:27:08
both sides of this debate need to hold up a mirror and take a look, a good long look...eventually, you'll realize you could be mistaken for twins. intollerance is a disease.

The Dude - 2008-03-06 01:06:37
I AM JACK'S GOD!!

Revan - 2008-03-26 01:36:01
I know this is way late, but lol @ Andy. Jesus wasn't the reason for the season Christians took nearly every aspect of your "christmas" from Pagan festivals.

KesheR - 2008-12-03 02:48:27

Heroes is such a piece of shit!!!

A guy who believes in God - 2008-12-03 20:25:55

I challenge one of you rapture-bashing assholes to read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and come back to this blog and write a comment like the one you previously wrote...it just won't happen.

Yep, towards andy - 2008-12-08 14:13:54

A little delayed but, you know....some people don't believe in jesus. don't assume everyone does and don't act like that because they don't believe in his they are heathens. FYI andy, Christmas and Easter are based off of Pagan holidays. :) Have a nice holiday!

Don - 2008-12-09 08:17:14

Believers-hopefully you can understand that God's existence is less likely than the belief that the universe was created by anything other than natural processes. If you want to keep believing in the face of logic go ahead, just don't act too confused when people laugh at you because of it.

me - 2008-12-09 19:56:13

Heroes is good man, you sound like you hate everything, bastard.

enlighten be thy children - 2008-12-09 20:37:36

there is so much malice in these comments, it kind of funny. no really it is, your all so wraped up in what your own beliefs that the tiny idea that some ones own beliefs are just that their own is left with no room to take seed. speaking of seed, if jesus is the reason for the season then can you explain why pine tress and other evergreens of the cold temperate forests found their way into our holidays? or why eggs and rabbits (signs of fertility in the pagan train of thought) found their way into their story of rebirth? or why jesus' own story resembles that of the god of the wood?

Zach - 2008-12-09 21:46:43

As far as Four Christmas's is concerned, you said it yourself, you paid good money, that's nobodies fault but yours.

elvis prestley - 2008-12-09 23:03:09

fuck you all im the reason for the season have you heard "blue christmas"

Kaileigh - 2008-12-10 03:50:32

You know what I hate? When people are totally intolerent of each other. Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe its not religion itself, but the intolerence of other peoples beliefs that start wars? And I do believe in Jesus, and believe that we should spread the word. But there is a difference in spreading the word and forcing our beliefs onto people. All that does is drive them further away. And yes, most of us are aware that many Christmas traditions are rooted in pagean traditions, but the spirit is in celebration for the birth of Jesus Christ. Really want I wanted to say was do not assume just because someone does or doesn't believe that they are ignorant, narrow minded, 'weak minded', or miserable with their lives. If people choose not to believe after being presented the truth, thats fine. They have that right. In the end, we know we have a home in Heaven and the Spirit in our life.

MIke - 2008-12-10 20:29:02

You people all missed the point... Britney is the reason for christmas... Go baby Go

Amos - 2008-12-11 11:56:54

I was reading up somewhere not too long ago and the proverbial "They" found out what exactly light is made of, particle wise, and they came up with sound. And God said, let there be light. Thought it was interesting for those who don't believe.

Audrey - 2008-12-13 11:24:13

Poor Andy needs a history lesson, but yes, it is his right to believe as such. The Christians can believe in the Bible and the Scientologists in their science-fiction novel. It's all the same, really. Cheers.

fed up - 2008-12-14 12:13:48

i agree with andy. jesus is the reason for this season. and my bf can kiss mine and everybody elses ass. hes "lost". so sad, so very sad.

John Randall - 2008-12-15 21:15:06

Andy – The winter solstice is the reason for the season. The Roman rebirth of the sun became the birth of your Jesus. Constantine thought it was easier to absorb Pagan rituals than to wipe them out. Then Christian's thought that the Turks had something going on with some guy named Nicholas who drank too much and left coins in other people's shoes. But don't tell Coca-Cola I let you in on it. Your penance for your sins this year is to read the Wikipedia entry on "Christmas" Hey Joe – You are right about the rapture. Also, it's awesome that your faith has improved your life greatly. Without sarcastic I can say that I am happy for you and those like you. However, the fact that your life is improved does not mean that, you aren't a weak minded person buying into a delusion. You can be both weak minded and posses and improved life. Furthermore, being critical of superstition does not mean that one is resistant to new ideas, or cruel, as I assume you mean to insinuate when you write "closed minded" or having a "closed heart". And Joe, you certainly DO have a right to believe whatever you like. Heck, you have the right to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Space Aliens, reincarnation, or that god wants you to have slaves. But the Internet always has the right to rip on you for anything it wants to. So do I. You seem like a halfway smart guy. I doubt you seriously believe in the rapture and the bible as literal history and all that. it's true– not all folks who buy into socially sanctioned delusions are nutjobs. But, for christsakes Joe– you are quoting scripture in a comment thread. Face it. You are a nutjob. Why don't you take your daughter to see that Polar Bear movie for Christmas? Kaileigh – Intolerance is when someone doesn't like what you say and they stop you from saying it. Telling someone they are wrong is part of the self-correcting search for truth called intellectual discourse. Criticism of weakly supported ideas is the heart of that discourse – unless it's on a comment thread on a blog. Then it's probably intolerance. But seriously– if people choose to ignore history and embrace delusions, they are certainly within their rights, but it isn't "fine", it's stupid. We live in democracies in which everyone has a small degree of power in deciding how we organize ourselves. Before we can decide how to govern, we must first realize what is. I don't want people who choose to ignore evidence of what is holding any power to organize a state that has the right to control me. It isn't "fine". It's within their rights to believe invisible pink unicorns, but it's within mine to tell them that believing in invisible pink unicorns is kind of silly, and to speak out against their delusional propaganda. You seem even smarter than Joe. This Christmas, I assign you the wikipedia article on "discourse" and "liberalism" Religion is a social disease. I'm trying to quarantine your bad ideas before they infect my other co-citizens of the world. Amos– WTF are you talking about? This is 2008 and you have the internet. Go figure who the "they" is that you are talking about, what "particle" you are talking about, and what it has to do with sound. Try linking us a URL. This is how we do it on the internet. Welcome aboard. Please try to avoid quoting scripture on my Internets, but if you must, please use quotation marks so I can understand what the hell you are talking about. Hey everyone! Merry Christmas! Hey look! Presents! w00t!

Enigma - 2008-12-16 04:59:45

Elvis "blue christmas"....he needed the money

Beans - 2008-12-17 16:25:57

I had such a good time reading these comments. I just wanted to say thank you. Especially to bitch slapper who i thought made more sense than most of you wonderful people. It was so good I had to make myself a little cocktail and come back to it. thanks. seriously. thanks. go read a book

elron mackenzie - 2008-12-17 17:31:05

i just want to say that, in light of the recurring theme of these posts, the table, the plastic black lawn jockey, and jesus should all get together and banish axl rose for chinese democracy. i'm glad to see i'm not the only one who thinks this album is shit. joe pesci for messiah in 08! (thanks george carlin)

Anonymous - 2008-12-18 01:41:27

John Randall, I was right with you until you got to here: "We live in democracies in which everyone has a small degree of power in deciding how we organize ourselves. Before we can decide how to govern, we must first realize what is. I don't want people who choose to ignore evidence of what is holding any power to organize a state that has the right to control me." Dude, have you been asleep for the last 3 presidential elections? 2 decided by the courts, and the latest decided by a liberal media, convincing the "sheeple" that an unknown, unproven, socialist leaning democrat public speaker was the better candidate, because he was able to preach "Change" and a salvation from the policies of the current administration? Its not really different when you sit back and look at it.

Jesus - 2008-12-18 05:05:23

Can't we all just get along? I mean I already died for your sins....John 3:16

<(( Ken Al-Asahd ))> - 2008-12-18 20:59:38

The best thing of 2008 was my discovery of torrents. sharing shit. the way of the future. now shitty commercial bands won't see success with record sales, and will have to troll their lazy asses around the world, possibly learn to really play, and make some real fucking money. also, i read the bible for the first time. did you know that jesus was a product of rape, and his mom was a dike? WOW. Someone get a time machine and punch this cunt in the uterus. Peace and love yall! 9/11 never forget! The most disturbing movie is either FEED or JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR.

Sam - 2008-12-19 16:18:26

Nice i agree on the rapture one for sure

Justin - 2008-12-26 15:50:28

this was one hell of an entertaining stumbleupon and besides the rapture is bullshit and I can prove it. Here is how: "The Rapture, thou is Bullshit" Justin 4:20 And a happy new year!

dx - 2008-12-29 16:48:24

Hilarious! and I thought rupture was what you felt in prison when ordered to pick up the soap! peace!

goddol - 2008-12-30 16:06:42

I wish there were more John Randalls in this world. As for the criticism of his post concerning presidential elections, all the problems mentioned would be irrelevant if the religious right in the southern united states didn't wield so much power. The elections would not have been close without their votes, and logic would have prevailed, not one of the worst presidents ever (Bush).

Youth - 2009-01-02 17:08:56

weird. men have always been known to fight. each other. and for really stupid reasons. and they will continue to do so. so long as they refuse to accept one another. if there is indeed a god, we owe far more than we are capable of giving. for we are a sad and disgusting race. that is killing itself. our only redeeming qualities lie within our youth. when we "knew" so little, dreamt constantly, and trusted everyone, when the world was just a place for love. then we received "logic" and "faith", and we feel that we have some right to control other peoples lives and thoughts, and we started to care about insignificant shit like death, fear, possessions, money, pride, and what other people think. well. well, i think that we should all have just stayed kids.

Dude who hates that everyone fights - 2009-01-03 10:06:28

Before proceeding to read this comment, please note above statement. Ok, cool. I don't understand why people feel the need to get into petty arguments about religion. I just feel like there are so many other useful things that people could do with their time, like helping one another out. I am personally a Christian, but I do not judge those who don't believe or think they are heathens. I mean we are all free minded individuals with the right to believe what we want, and the fact that someone has an idea that is different from yours should not detract from you trying to help each other. Its the reason the everyone feels the need to squabble that this world is so messed up anyway and at war with one another. Religion is not a cause, especially when you take the time to study religions you will realize that all of them are essentially the same except for basic fundamental principles. Everyone's opinions are duly noted, of course with the exception of the argument that pagan religion is the derivative of Christianity and that Christianity stole paganism for itself. All religions are in one way or another like each other, and traditions are borrowed from one another, not because the religion borrowing is a bad religion. Maybe it respected the ideas of the religion it was borrowing from, and felt like it could use it to further the people around it. Christianity is unfortunately one of the most targeted religions out there, and I feel like a lot of people use very biased arguments for why they don't like it. I am sure if you sat down and talked to any respectable(that is the key word here) Christian and listened to them and they listened to you, you would not find that they are oppressed or manipulated, but a human like yourself, with just a few different ideas. Now I get to say it. Peace.

Table - 2009-01-09 21:46:16

Why the hell are you guys talking to me?!

MasterOfPie - 2009-01-10 15:33:11

Yeah, fuck you Andy.

Lauren - 2009-01-10 18:54:22

Ok, I got about halfway down this comment list before I dozed off. But anyway, I praise thee o table. Yeah, I had a friend who suddenly turned missionary on me, and it is one of the saddest things to see someone become so obsessed with religion. Get a life, you only have one.

Crash - 2009-01-11 02:22:51

I'm forced to think after reading these hilarious comments that all the angry people on the board need to mellow out and let people do their own thing. I decided when I was 13 that I was converting to Buddhism and it hurts me to see the christian debate rage on. The athiests shouldn't give a damn the the Christians are "wasting their time with God" And while it's commendable for the Christians to try and pass on their faith, maybe it's about time they stopped preaching to every god damned person the run into and just enjoy loving God on their own time. People rag on Christians so god damn much because they believe their religion to be superior. Everyone disagrees from time to time so just let the shit die. The gods love us all the same when it come's time for judgment. Praise Buddha and his Peaceful ways.

wilco - 2009-01-12 20:49:43

All religions are not basically the same; Allah commanded Muslims to spread their faith by the spear. "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god that you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." historian Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971) "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform." Mark Twain Check out "The God Who Wasn't There," a documentary film that explores the myth of Jesus.

Reality Check - 2009-02-03 23:44:44

You are some strange mothafukin people

george - 2009-02-22 17:40:47

i have split and am now forming the Church of the Table Reformation Splinter group...we know what the table really wants...trust us we're right

Cindy Lou - 2009-02-24 01:05:32

Praise the table. Peace.

Christian - 2009-03-31 08:46:43

yeah, its real easy to make fun of someone who's religions just cuz you cock bags don't stand for anything. Ooo your so much better than me becaus you don't believe anything happens when you die ooo. Go fuck yourselves. Prove to me that God doesn't exist and there won't me a rapture then you can go praise your table and mastrabate to your own smugness all you want. Until then i'm going to keep being religious and there's not a damn thing any of you atheistic, self righteous, insecure, God hating fuck bags can do about it. (by the way, that's the first time i've used the word 'God' and 'fuck bag' in the same sentence lol)

humbrto gil - 2009-04-09 13:33:59

why do ignorant people mock and ridicule what they dont understand? are yiu a bible scholar or historian or have any training in these matters whatsoever ? NO , I WILL LOVE TO SEE YOUR FACE ON JUDGEMENT DAY , HOPEFULLY YOU WILL COME TO YOUR SENCES BEFORE THAT DAY.

Tron - 2009-04-21 05:42:54

^ Don't alot of 'believers' mock evolution? and whats not to understand? You choose to believe your giant invisible friend created the world, and everything in it (and apparently placed dinosaur fossils here just to mind fuck us all?). I choose to believe in the big bang etc. I just dont' like pushy people who are so intolerant of any other view but theirs being the 'right' one. (hence the cause of so many wars, violence, death, destruction etc.) fun fact. Jeses was born sometime in May or June. Not Xmas. (as has been stated, a very big pagan holiday was the winter solstice so to lure people from their 'heathan' ways the church said 'hey god was born this day. worship NOW!'

Flying Spaghetti Monster - 2009-05-08 12:16:19

I am the one true god. And I sent my only begotten son Chef Boy Ar Dee to die for your sins.

livingdead70 - 2009-06-04 17:06:00

If you think youll magically be transported to an invisible place one day surrounded by your family and friends, and the bad people have to stay here and die, you really live in a fantasy world. trey

Priyanka - 2009-12-07 00:22:22

I like how you acknowledged how ultimately you only really hate yourself. There's nothing noble in being self-aware. I bet you know this. Don't waste your time or anyone else's with this pointless drivel. Get creative, passive-agressive shit list maker. Or at least get a life.

Austin - 2009-12-08 02:18:14

People that believe in rapture only piss you off in 2009? Don't limit your hatred, man! Hate religion fo' daiz!!

Socrates - 2009-12-17 13:48:48

Jesus certainly is not the reason for the season. Jesus never even existed. It is a made-up story. The reason for the season is the winter solstice. All ancient people were sun worshippers and celebrated the death and rebirth of the sun on December 21.

*SPOILER ALERT* - 2009-12-20 03:29:46

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT* RE: #07 - Waiting for The Sopranos Movie Ummm.... you might want to pay attention to what's being said throughout the series finale and then the really pay attention the last few minutes of the episode.......

Guy - 2010-04-22 12:06:20

I have sat through hours of philosophy classes and read several articles on the topic of religion and the existence of God. Why? Just because I found it to be very interesting. There are several arguments written by some pretty well known philosophers and some argue for and others against the existence of God. The conclusion that I keep coming to is that there is no way to prove or disprove God's existence. Those who believe, feel free to believe. And those who don't, don't have to. As a person who finds that topic interesting I am also a bit disheartened when I read these posts. "Christians" who are supposed to be spreading love are calling people "cock bags" and telling others to "fuck off" just because they don't agree with you, or mock your beliefs. If you truly know your faith like you say you do then you'd know that that isn't the proper response to someone who disagrees with or mocks your faith. Jesus is said to be one who loves others. On the cross he said "forgive them my Father, for the know not what they do". different versions of the Bible will say it slightly differently but that's what your Lord said to those who killed him. Don't be a hypocrite, I know too many. And those who don't agree with Christianity or religion at all, don't blame religion for all the world's conflicts. It can all be blamed on our failure as people to be able to see eye to eye with each other. We will never all believe the same things the same way. And if we can't all learn to accept that, then there will never be peace. Which I must say, peace is just a pipe dream that will never be fully achieved as long as people exist. To those who didn't attack others, kudos to you for keeping your heads. Thanks for reading peeps. Why can't we all just get along? :P

hmm - 2010-05-20 17:31:47

There's no rational argument to refute God's existence, I'll agree with that. But is that a good reason to dedicate your life to something? You can't disprove the existence of anything. Literally. That is logically impossible. The only reason people belong to certain religions is because of tradition. If the flying spaghetti monster had been worshiped for hundreds of years, maybe it would be a major religion now. Tradition isn't a very good reason to do something. If someone doesn't have an actual reasonable reason to commit themselves so completely to one belief, then they're a fool.

Guy - 2010-06-15 00:17:28

But not everyone believes due to tradition. I know of several Christians who weren't born into that faith. Some were born following other religions and others were on the opposite side of the spectrum and never even believed in God until they became Christians. It's all a matter of opinion. You ask why dedicate you life to something that you don't know to be true, or know to be real. Well, the same question could be posed to the other side of the argument as well. Why dedicate your life to believing there's nothing beyond this rock we live on and that there is no greater purpose in life when we can't prove it one way or the other? Religion is not a bad thing. It can and is often used in bad ways. People use it as a tool. But it is not meant to be that way. The basis of all religions is to do good unto others. But what is that point of doing anything good for anyone but yourself if there is no purpose in life except for survival. If there is no greater purpose then why not just die? Or why not just do whatever we want whenever we want? It's kind of funny that people would fight for the idea that there is no purpose for life. If you truly believe that, then why are you still here? What is the point in living if life has no purpose?