Dave Attell

Best known as the host of Insomniac with Dave Attell, which ran on Comedy Central from 2001-04, Dave Attell achieved his first big break in 1993 when he made his debut on The Late Show with David Letterman. Attell also had a brief run as host of The Gong Show with Dave Attell.  

On Masturbation

I'm very romantic when I masturbate. I light some candles. Then I try to shoot them out when I'm done. Never invite me to a birthday party."

On Porno Movies

"Some people are against porno movies, and I say, 'Hey, Ohio, Kentucky and Iran!' I say, 'Hey, whatever a man and a woman and another woman with a penis and a midget do to a donkey is their gosh darn business.'"

On Sparklers