"Oh yeah, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. Then I moved up to washing lettuce. Now, I'm working the fat fryer. Pretty soon I'll make assistant manager and that's when the big bucks start rolling in."
"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now."
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed, or repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."
"I am a millionaire. A weird thing to hear? Well let me tell you, it's a weird thing to say. I am a fuckin' millionaire. And guess how old I am - 27. Do you know what that makes me around here? A fuckin' senior citizen . . . They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the fucking smile on my face . . . Ear to ear, baby."
"The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!"
"My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?"
"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and its not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire."
". . . today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
"I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables—slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war . . . our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."
"I just wanna prove somethin'—I ain't no bum . . . It don't matter if I lose . . . Don't matter if he opens my head . . . The only thing I wanna do is go the distance—That's all. Nobody's ever gone 15 rounds with Creed. If I go them fifteen rounds, an' that bell rings an' I'm still standin', I'm gonna know then I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood . . ."